2007: This Beloved Country
The American colonist of yesteryear gave a timeless call for the hearts of his countrymen: "I know not what course others may take, but as for me, give me liberty or give me death!". For the Eksteen colonists, 2007 began a silent, but no-less resonating course for the homeland within our hearts. Stepping over the 10th anniversary of our life in another "mother" country, you can imagine that we have struggled with the idea of stretching the "family" definition beyond geography. And as you’ll read, living this year has taught us that family and country can’t be limited to a location. It has been… a year of Freedom (which we were glad for because I wasn't that fond of the "give me death" option). Then again, maybe its not freedom or death, but rather freedom because of death. Much like the death of a soldier in a physical battle acquires the contested territory and secures freedom, on an intangible level our dying to the desires or proximities we otherwise would want (i.e. dying to a "perfect world" notion) allows the gaining of freedom in relationships, in identity, in the beauty of the present, and the in hope of the future. It’s a mysterious country. So perhaps dying to some things this year did produce life and freedom. Let's see...
In January we resumed homeschooling Jake (8) for the rest of 2nd grade. He enjoys reading, playing catch, riding his "heelies" (even in the house…), going to the driving range with his dad, building lego and turning the playground into a mudpool for his sisters to play in. In February, Dad took Jake and a friend to the Nissan Open Golf at Riviera CC and greeted Ernie and Retief with the complimentary "mooi so" on the 3rd green. Lee, who happened to be watching tv at home, saw Jake on the screen at the par 4 11th, so now Jake tells everyone he's been on tv! (You may call it 1.5 seconds of fame). March was "Star Wars month", with the boys getting to stay up late to watch these together, to reward Jake for some tough choices he made. Lee and Jake went on a field trip to the Star Wars Museum for the 35th anniversary of the first movie release. The stuff that qualifies for "field trip" status is pretty amazing these days. Curiously, the airport hangar “where it all began” for Mr. Lucas and his model-building team is only an imperial stone’s throw from Louis’ office.
Louis enjoys working in an environment where he can contribute creatively, implement efficiencies and improve the community. All three of those in a big, big blender is what a regular day is like! This year the church started several unique things: opening a third location north of LA in an adapted cine-plex, holding several outdoor festival-style events, and expanding its media outreach. In his role on staff Louis also has several internal pastoral functions and is becoming a licensed pastor. He joined a group of ministers for a memorable week studying with Jack Hayford (president of the Foursquare Church movement).
Lee, the ever-present mother, enjoys sitting by the fireplace, watching videos with friends and nurturing her love for epic battle movies. Many relaxing evenings are accompanied by quantities of Twix, Sprite and Sushi. For her birthday, Louis treated Lee to a "night on the town" with a stay at a luxury hotel downtown and romantic dinner in the revolving lounge on the 35th floor.
Our Cathy-girl (6) is little Ms. Focus. She began the year as our kindergartener, excelling in reading, presentation and memorization. She was the sunflower in their "God's garden" play, and received an award at school for reciting her bible verse before the school assembly. Cathy is one of those rarest of humans who loves to do school-work. In fact she asks for it. Inspired by her older brother, she can read books most kids her age can't. (Actually most proud parents believe this of their child, so we’re just hoping it rubs off on the rest of us). In 1st grade, she has taken up reading in Afrikaans and mimics the British-African accent when she role plays "teacher" to her pupils (young Emma and Elize). She loves to color rainbows, jump rope, and ballet dance through the living room. With her new found love of gymnastics she bends over and does a handstand mid-conversation.
Emma-belle (4) is our smelling-the-flowers-in-her-own-world child – with an advanced, self-activating role-play imagination: she loves talking to her "friends" (dollies, stuffed animals etc.), putting them to sleep, and admonishing them. She loves to sing songs and whisper her prayers. Emma is “such a happy girl", blissfully growing in her obedience (aren't we all?), and calls Mommy her "best friend". Not phased by any shortcomings or threats of discipline, she influences those around her by exuding joy and living "in the moment". Doing a new thing, like writing a "5", lights up her eyes and draws a contagious smile. She will come up to me and say that she has to show me something, wait for my hand to lead me to the other side of the room to look at something we have seen everyday of our life (like the wall), but today, with me, now, in her game… it’s a precious supernatural moment, unlike any other. We encourage all our kids from an early age to dress themselves (why fight that battle?), but Emma’s clothing concoctions have by far generated the most would-laugh-but-its-your-child smiles.
Elize aka Gigglecheeks or Hurricane Lieisie (2) is a small person now, walking, running and climbing into everything. She has discovered the words "nnooooo", and "maka" (permanent marker), and can even use them together in a sentence, as in "u nooo take my maka". She is at the age where if the house becomes too quiet we start looking to find her having gone hiding in some room corner, bathroom or under the blankets with something exploratory, like makeup or toothpaste.
In the Spring we were spending quality time in the garden, uprooting trees, weeding and planting flowers; not to mention Louis' yard irrigation saga. Cathy planted her "beautiful flower". Jake and Emma braved the freezing water on March 7th (new record) for their first dip in the pool this year. In our ongoing effort to simplify and spend more time with the kids, we donated the electronic baby sitter to charity, April 2nd. Emma watched in amazement as the crew carried the 36" box out of house and into their truck. Concerned that Lee wasn't realizing the severity of what was going on, Emma tugged on her leg: "Mommy, mommy, bad guys are taking my TV!". The kids can now watch DVD's on dad's computer, so all is not lost. Jake read almost two books on the first tv-free day, so it's paying off.
In the post-high-chair phase, our family has discovered we can really enjoy food together. A key part of the enjoyment is our giving up the need to be bothered by the mess created, and being able to "laugh" together with the mess-maker (now usually Elize). As one can imagine, this does work better outside the house, and if in a restaurant involves lavish tipping and scoring smiles from the nearby tables. Here are some of the memorable family treats:
• morning bagels, toasted and lathered with cream cheese.
• donuts in the mini-van on the way to church (payoff for getting dressed on time)
• rubio's taco's (with Emma doing her "you cannot jump, na-na-na-na-na") routine
• "jumble" juice smoothies for the park or drive-thru starbucks (for mommy and daddy)
• daddy's poolside braai (side-dishes optional) and Outback steakhouse (with the prequisite chanting before we go).
Five years in the making, we finally made it back to visit South Africa, largely through the generosity of others. What can we say... it was a blast! We spent a week on a game farm in the bushveldt – relaxing, riding horses, milking cows, swimming, game drives, braais, walks in the bush. Fantastic. All said, our family had a radical journey of emotion, fun and family mixed with celebration, tears and hope - all bookended by pairs of transcontinental flights caravanning four kids. Unfortunately we could not visit with many of our friends, but over the span of those short weeks our kids got to see their entire family - all the people in our stories and on our fridge: time with grandparents, bonding with their cousins and "goeie ou boerekos". On the way back we met up with Louis' brother Francois and his wife Gwen for four days at Disneyland Paris. The kids were thrilled with the rides, photo-ops with Pluto at the hotel, mixed with the eat-as-much-as-you-like buffet meals and the indoor heated pool. When we finally returned to LA on July 3rd, it was neither the 107 degree California summer afternoon, nor the $90 cab ride, nor the sleep deprivation (with our two year old not having closed an eye in over 24 hours) that left us lying spread out and speechless across the living room like knocked over dominoes… it was the reflection on a trip that undoubtedly changed our family psyche, and will stay in the depths of our souls forever.
Over the summer we adjusted to jet lag, Africa being "far far away", and Emma's lankey "lost" on the way back by eating fizzers and listening to boere-musiek. The boys built (phase 1 of x) a tree house (aka the fort) in the back yard. With the African-excursion behind us and the distraction of pool-splashed days, Lee quietly weaned Elize and closed the chapter on eight years of nursing. Selah. We also took down the hand-painted (by Papa) crib that cradled each of our bambinos since, well the previous century.
During the Fall… Dad took the kids on a "getaway" weekend to Burbank; We also explored the kids space, science museums and Imax movies. We visited dear friends for a weekend in Santa Barbara and went horseback riding, apple-picking and pony petting. In November Lee spent an entire weekend away (from the kids) in Solvang (quaint town north of LA). Louis survived this by taking the kids to a Civil War Battle re-enactment. Instead of letting them fight with each other, watching the pro's do it 1860's style proved to be much more entertaining. And it gave them a few pointers...
Even through the Southern California fires we could still celebrate the SA rugby world cup victory in October, briefly uniting with the biltong-loving diaspora. Daddy got an iPhone (read "new toy") confirmed by the kids reaction to it: "Hey Dad...you're cool!". How's that for buyer's affirmation? Lee and Louis did a multi-week study called "Created In God's Image" that blessed our marriage and family, giving some perspective on each of our tendancies and how they differ. Louis always used to wonder why he didn't like doing chores. Now he knows he was born that way :) Both Jake and Cathy are excelling in Gymnastics and are now in advanced programs fuelled by the inspiration of their coaches, who genuinely love them. My back hurts just watching some of the things they practice.
Music and performances added some culture to the year’s landscape:
• Kid’s choir on Palm Sunday. Jake had seven or so songs in the main sanctuary, and sang in two services. Whew- that's alot for a little guy!
• The older two began piano lessons and love to take turns to practice (at least for now). After a few weeks Jake played me a song he made up and called "world war two". The high notes are the melody of the soldier interaction and the bass notes the bombs coming in. (It takes a boy's creativity to turn a piano into a game console!).
• For the Christmas program the kids were involved again - Jake acting, Cathy and Emma singing and having fun memorizing the songs and their parts.
As a whole our family is doing great. We have had some ups and downs this year, and with family being far away we'd be lying to say its easy, but in some way we have become more "real" this year: Experiencing the rawness of longing emotion and saying farewell, again, makes for some honest relational dialogue with your mate and your Maker. And leading one's children through those issues sobers one's sense of responsibility fairly rapidly. What has helped us is having an enduring purpose in our lives, our routines, our shortcomings, and seeing the promise bloom in our children. Regardless of our location, we hear the call "to defend, to love, to hold [so] that the heritage [our fathers] gave us for our children yet may be." (Excerpt from SA Anthem).
Having lived on multiple continents, it is evident that the real "heritage our fathers gave us" transcends nationalism: It’s been given by the Pilgrim fathers to their sons, and by the Boer patriarchs to theirs. Each country has received an impartation of courage to defend and transmit universal, absolute Truth. So regardless of our background, we can be people who live willing to engage despite the odds, and thereby carry this heroic nature to others and to our descendants. Such are the citizens of Amajuba, of Thermopylae and of Gettysburg. This is the “land” Benjamin Franklin spoke of when he said: "Where liberty dwells, there is my country." It is here in this beloved country comprised of the hearts of the valiant, rather than a particular land or political ideology, that strength and diversity are forged into resilience. From its mountain tops neither distance nor time are essential; in its colorful fields we can raise warriors for truth, and on its calm shores we walk barefoot with our loved ones.
So as the year ends, we invite you… to this country. Explore it, cultivate it and protect it. Although we are far from many of you, we can be together here - neighbors in our hearts and in true liberty. We look forward to seeing you again. And what a rejoicing it will be.
It’ll be great in 2008,
The Eksteen family
Louis, Lee, Jake, Cathy, Emma, Elize
home@eksteenlife.com
www.eksteenlife.com